Suicide Watch

The cry in our hearts to fit into society, to be a part of, to be with someone special, to not be alone is sometimes so loud that we can’t hear anything else. Many times we can be in a crowd of people and yet be all alone. “Can’t someone see me? Don’t they understand? I can’t live like this any longer! No one cares! I’ll just end it all! At least I’ll be in a better place! It will be all over! Good-bye mean, cruel world!” And then it ends… Or so we think! SUICIDE WATCH!

Nothing can be further from the truth. The act of suicide is only the beginning, not an ending at all. For the soul committing the act, eternity begins and the path chosen is never ending. Where do they go? For friends and family, it begins a journey of questions, anguish, pain, grief, and sometimes torture of the soul. The big question is “Why?”! Sometimes the answers can’t be found and the agony of not knowing can be worse than the loss of the loved one. Who is the victim? All are!

Following is an excerpt from my wife’s biography on that fateful day:

This story begins on a rainy day in July of 1991, on the Northwest side of San Antonio, Texas. The ‘Sentence Of Death’ had been issued and there was an eerie feeling of the certainty of its judgment in the atmosphere. A young woman, in her early thirties, is seen standing on the front porch of a home for the terminally ill. She is smoking a cigarette and listening to her headphones. Normally, she would be sitting out in the front yard with her smoke; however, today the rain has forced her to stay on the porch. Her gaunt, anorexic figure displays her state of mind. She was depressed all of the time. Her constant cry is, “God! Will you please take me home? Just take me home!” She cried out over and over in her mind as she listened to a song by Metallica called “Sanitarium,” trying desperately to drown out all of the voices inside of her head.

Janiece Elaine Turner had been through years of extreme pain and misery. She was tired, extremely exhausted, and she just wanted it to be all over, finished. The voices inside of her head would not leave her alone. Unbeknownst to her, she was getting her wish. Soon it would be all over, but it would not be the way she had expected.

Sometimes things don’t end the way we expect. Sometimes the answer we are looking for is not the one we need. Sometimes we misread circumstances and we judge wrongly. Sometimes the pain in our hearts cause us to become imprisoned inside.

There is hope. There is someone who cares for us more than we can imagine.  If you or someone you know is going through something like this, there is a story that can help. It is a true love story of a young lady and the Creator Himself. He wouldn’t let her go, instead, He reached down out of heaven and made Himself known to her. When all had given up hope, He showed her Who He was. He is no respecter of people and He cares the same for each of us. There is hope, love, and His miraculous healing power available to all who want it.

I just finished writing the book a few short weeks ago and it is now published, “Sentenced To Death, Destined For Life: Tell My People I Love Them! – The Janiece Turner-Hartmann Story.” We have poured our lives into this book and into helping others. While we can’t be available to be everywhere to help, pray and speak, the book tells the whole story and brings hope to the hopeless. It is not the only book out there and we are not the only ones around to help, but the truth is you are reading this in this moment and this is all I have in my hands to help. It is available in print and also for instant download on the Kindle and Nook. If you are the one who needs help or know of someone who does, please get the book or at least contact us on the contact page of this site. We care and will do everything we can to help.

Joseph James

More information is available on the home page of this site, including a book preview with the first chapter of the book. “Sentenced To Death, Destined For Life: Tell My People I Love Them! – The Janiece Turner-Hartmann Story” is available in print from our e-commerce website at; at Amazon in print and Kindle; at Barnes & Noble in print and Nook.

Other information and help is available at our ministry site and blog: Don’t give up. Give the Lord and others some time to get to you. We care! You matter!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *