When A Marriage Fails

What do you do when the love of your life says, “I’ve had enough and I want a divorce?” How do you cope? If the marriage covenant meant anything to you at all, it is a devastating situation and it will rip your soul in two. How can it be? How could this have happened? What do you do When Your Marriage Fails?

When my first wife said she wanted a divorce, I was shell-shocked.I didn’t see it coming. I had vowed to never get a divorce and here I was knocking on the door of the divorce court. My two precious daughters were only three and one and a half. My youngest hadn’t even taken her first steps yet. They were going to go through exactly what my brother and I did at their ages, a divorce. They would be separated from their dad. How can this happen again? Frantically, I went to my lawyer and asked him how I could stop this from happening. What did I have to do to stop it? His answer was simply, “there isn’t anything you can do!” I was devastated. I could see the generational curse happening all over again and I was powerless to do anything to stop it. Later, I would learn that it was my youngest that would pray over and over again for her mom and dad to get back together again, but that never happened.

I learned some important lessons during these trying times. I learned to lean on the Lord and to trust Him in every situation or so I thought. Life is a journey and I had prayed for wisdom and understanding. The scripture says that, “though it cost you everything, get understanding.” I was only beginning on my journey. I did everything I could to try to stay near my girls, but their mom kept moving. I finally surrendered this area to the Lord and told Him I would do everything He wanted me to do, but He had to take care of my family. He still honors this to this day. He has protected and kept us from all kinds of dangers. He is totally awesome.

Well, a few years later I met someone else and I thought that this was it. I thought that this was the person for me and I thought the Lord’s blessing was upon it. It lasted ten short months. This was the one that almost did me in. I couldn’t function anymore. My faith was shaken to the core. Everything I had hoped and dreamed for was lying dead on the floor. I just wanted to leave the earth, but He wouldn’t let me leave. He has given us all choices and we don’t always make the right ones. Sometimes we give up too easily on one another. How will we ever survive, let alone rise victoriously over the things that hold us down? Strictly by His grace and power!

It took me more than two and a half years to come through this last fiery trial. The Lord put someone else in my path and we have been married now for over eighteen years. Was it easy? No! I have learned a lot since then. I have gained some wisdom and understanding. The Lord gives us all choices and some times we just aren’t patient. It is because of our choices we can bless people or create hurt and destruction in others lives. Torn, bruised and broken people are created by our own and others choices. This is who we are without Him.

I have received a lot of healing over the years. I have spoken about my fears in many of my other posts. I am a different person and I hope I can help others find hope and healing too. My wife and I live to help others. This is why we get up and do the things we do every day. We have touched His heart. We have embraced His love. We have received His forgiveness, mercy and grace and now we want to pass it on. We have lived in His miracles and they still continue. Every day has its miracles and we are thankful for everyone. This journey is too wonderful to keep to ourselves. Others need to know they can have this too. I am saddened by the fact that not everyone will, however I am encouraged that some will and this keeps me writing.

Greater Things by Joseph James

Joseph James

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