What do you do when the love of your life says they want a divorce? What do you do? How do you cope with it and better yet, how do you go on? With some people divorce seems such a trivial thing. I haven’t been able to figure this out. If that person was really committed to the marriage, why didn’t it effect them the same way? I’ve been through several divorces with my mom and two personally and there are no easy answers. SURVIVING DIVORCE…
Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:8, 1Corinthians 6:16, and Ephesians 5:31 state similar things. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
How did I make it through my personal divorces, strictly by the grace of God. My first divorce tore me deep inside. As a child, I had determined never to go through a divorce. I thought I could do whatever it took to keep the marriage together. I remember sitting down with my lawyer and asking him what I had to do to keep the marriage together. He simply told me there was nothing I could do. I left his office totally devastated and depressed. My whole world was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My precious daughters ages 3 and 1 1/2 were going to be separated from their father. My dad left when I was 3 and this was a blow to my hopes. I felt hopeless and powerless. I was totally devastated. When my second divorce happened it tore me even deeper than this. I felt like I was punch drunk and I simply didn’t know what to do next. I felt like a total failure and I wanted it to be all over.
In everything I’ve gone through, I’ve been fortunate to have had a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. He never left me, even in my deepest, darkest moments of despair. Over the years I have gained a lot of understanding from these experiences and I am now able to identify with others who are going through these same situations. Please know that sometimes things just happen. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. Father has given everyone the right to make their own choices. Everyone has ghosts in their closets. There are things we hide inside to protect ourselves. There are triggers that pop up from things that have happened to us in the past and then we react rather than respond. I could go on and on but the main thing is that we must go on. Take the time we need to find strength and healing. If you don’t know the Lord, this is a good time to start. If you do, know that you haven’t failed Him. He loves you so much. If you have made a mistake or a bunch of them, His forgiveness is yours for the asking and so is His healing touch. He is personal. You don’t have to be around others to experience His love, but it might help. He will meet you where you are. If you need someone to talk to, ask Him to put someone in your path and to show you who they are. Remember they are just human and they aren’t perfect, so don’t expect them to know everything. The Lord on the other hand is perfect and will help you through everything. Trust Him as you are around others.
I had a lot of people around me, but they couldn’t see me where I was. A lot of them had good advice, but the timing was off. Sometimes it just takes time to heal. Some miracles are instantaneous, but others develop over time. We don’t always know the outcome. Sometimes relationships can be healed and sometimes they can’t. Trust the Lord that He knows what is best and that He will help you to find your way. Sometimes people make bad choices and others have to live through them. Let it strengthen you and not tear you down. The pain will lessen. It is possible to go on. The Lord will return more than was taken and cause everything to work for good. Don’t give up.
If you need help and want to write me, please use the contact form on this web site. I do not give out my email on this site because of all of the spam I receive daily, but if you would like me to reply, please use the form and I’ll give you my email address. I am the only one who gets the email. I’ll respond as soon as I can. My wife and I work to support ourselves and this ministry. We will do what we can to help. Just know that there is someone else who is for you. You can go on and you can make it. Dare to reach out. Dare to dream again. Dare to take it one step at a time. You are not alone. If it is possible, try to reach out and help others in some way. This will speed up your healing time. There is just something about giving to others that helps us so much more. Be encouraged. There is life at the end of divorce. SURVIVING DIVORCE!